A Life Without God

It's very shocking how a 6 year old can have hate or want to kill herself. Well basically I was that girl who wanted to disappear who wanted to kill herself, who hated her parents. And I know it's very shocking that a 6 year old girl so young can think of that. This is my story:

when I was 6 years old I would get mad easily, I maybe didn't show it at all but there was this anger this hate inside of me just building up. I would hear voices that said to hit the teacher and others said to run around like crazy. It was chaos. Every time I would get in trouble at school or someone would scream at me I would get so mad and start hurting myself. My parents would drink and would always be fighting. Every night I would cry myself to sleep. I didn't know what to do I thought that maybe this was normal since many people I knew had family problems. My sister and I would always argue and one day we started to fight and my mom came in and separated us. My sister started to run away and my mother would try to find her and I felt lonelier since she didn’t pay attention to me.

When I got to middle school I started to hang out with the wrong crowd. I started to do what they did talk the way they talk and dress the way they dress. Soon things got worst I got into a "crew" and started to fight with girls, and ditch. I started to ditch school and drink alcohol, wine, beer whatever you'd put in my hands I would do. Then, teens started to do airfreshner which later became very "popular" in middle school. So, one day I decided to try it. That very moment I became addicted to it. Friends and I would always buy some and would be doing it before we went to school, nutrition, lunch, during class, afterschool, and home. It was everyday that I would be doing airfreshner. I thought that would fill the gap that I felt inside but it didn't. I started to cut my self but somehow it wouldn't work. One day when I came home from school I was home alone. I decided to go to the kitchen and grab a knife. "This is it" I said to myself. I was ready to stab myself right in my stomach until I heard a voice say "don't do it" and another one that said "why suffer just kill yourself, and everything all the pain will be over" I didn't know what to do. I placed the knife back where it was.

My mother started attending the Universal Church. She would always be inviting me but I didn't want to go. Every time she invited me I put excuses not to go. Finally, I decided to go but just to please her. I though it was very boring and sometimes I would get this frustration just being there. Every time I would enter the church the youth power group would always try to invite me but I would always hide or try to avoid them but it never work. I decide to try it one day, I saw the teens jumping screaming and smiling. I ask my self what is it that they have that makes them happy? Then my mom got out of the church but I kept going then one day I just stop going. I was in high school maybe a freshman already. My mom and I were in the car one day coming home and we crashed. I woke up still in the accident and my mother was calling me but I hardly heard her. Days passed and the youth group was calling and calling asking if I was going to church and I would say yes but I never went.

I couldn't take the pain the emptiness inside of me so I decided to go to church one day. I started to participate in church and youth group as well. I started to listen to the voice of God. I started to put the word of god into practice. There I saw the big change in my life I felt happy something that I had never experience I was full of joy. Today I feel like living I love my parents I don't want to kill myself anymore Thanks to God.

In Faith, Arely

How Do You Know You Are A Failure?

I am there staring at the challenge I have set for myself. I start looking at the circumstances and say to my self "I can't do it, it's impossible" or "I'll do it later" and so many other excuses. I than rebuke myself for thinking that way. I don't accept being a failure yet I think like one and that's one of the things that I work hard not to become a failure. I don't accept being a failure because I know that I will not go very far.

How do you know you are a failure?

1. You give excuses
2. You look at the circumstances
3. You are negative
4. You blame others
5. You have fear
6. You have doubts


When people set goals for themselves to open a business or learning to speak a different language what ever it is many people give up in the middle of the process. Some even wait for there luck to come around. Well the luck will never ever come because while you are waiting for your luck to come around people are working hard and sacrificing so they can get to there goals. If you talk to someone successful they are not going to say it was luck. Most people have to give up things in order for them to achieve there goals. But they never accept what they have. One of things of being a failure is having a little vision or no vision at all. In order to be successful you need to have a big vision. And while others think its crazy because what you are doing it will get you somewhere.


Something that a person lacks is being bold. Many people are afraid of "going for it.” They think "What are they going to say" or "What are they going to think about it/me". Than they start asking for opinions which is one of the things that a person shall not do. You should always think about different methods if one does not work you try another method until you find a method that works.

In Faith, Arely